Why are we scared to set boundaries?
I've been thinking a lot about boundaries recently. It seems to be the place where I'm spending the most of my time. Why? Because it's where I feel there's a lot of 'leakage' in a work day. Because of poor (or usually non existent) boundaries
It's where we lose hours to unnecessary meetings. It's how we end up replying to emails after 10pm at night, or catching up at the weekend to 'get ahead' of yourself for the working week.
The stats don't lie either (you know I love those!). Microsoft's Work Trend Index talks about the concept of the infinite work day - often starting before you've even got out of bed and not finishing until 10/10:30pm at night.
Startlingly, it showed that "1 in 3 employees in our global Work Trend Index survey responded that the pace of work over the past five years has made it impossible to keep up"
And in the world of AI becoming more and more prevalent, it feels like there's no sign of things slowing down. The article goes on to say "Adopting AI isn’t enough. What you need now is a Frontier Firm mindset—one that questions how time is spent, how work gets done, and what truly drives impact."
So if a global organisation like Microsoft is pointing out that somethings gotta change, and here I am talking about how important boundaries are to set at work in order for you to feel less stress, overwhelmed and on the way to burnout, then why aren't people setting boundaries?
I think it boils down to this.
People are scared to say no. Because they don't know what to say (apart from f*ck off, leave me alone). Because of how it will be perceived by other people. Because it might be ignored. Because it might actually work.
And I get why people are scared. Because it's unknown, it's new and for a lot of people - it's unrealistic. Because if you've never set boundaries before it's going to be hard to suddenly become the most boundaried person in the building. Unless you have no choice.
And the reality of it is you, or a member of your team, are teetering very close to the edge of burnout - where the only option to come back from it is to retire or start setting boundaries.
I'm making the assumption you're not at retirement age just yet - so try these things to help.
If you're an individual ready to set boundaries but not sure where to start - then start here. It's a comprehensive guide to saying no (with copy and paste examples that you can use right now)
If you lead a team, or organisation that wants to help people step away from overwhelm, stress and burnout in a realistic way - but is not sure where to start - then start here.
And if neither of these appeal - please just try and take a lunchbreak this week, get outside in the fresh air and touch some grass.
